From my perspective, and maybe this is heresy, but negotiations are lose/lose propositions. You’re both giving things up. If you’re lucky, you’ll give up what is least important to you and hold on to what’s most important. And that brings us to point two of this report: Know what your CounterPoint wants! This is great advice, however, when you’re dealing with a bully, you cannot predict what the bully wants. You can assume he/she wants power, control, to win, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the bully’s aggression comes from fear of the unknown, fear of failure, frustration from poor communication skills, or the habit of making all priorities have the same weight so everything is urgent or important and therefore, the bully cannot determine where to give and where to hold firm. If the bully doesn’t know, you can’t predict. You can make some assumptions but you could easily miss the mark.
Archive for the ‘career’ Category
When Team Members Collide:4 Steps to Restoring Balance
Thursday, May 6th, 2010
Any executive coach who addresses the issue of dysfunctional teams and workplace bullying will agree that conflict is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, contention can seed healthy competition, which fosters creative problem solving and challenges underperformers to step up their game. But when conflict escalates as a result of bullying, harassment or abuse, then any benefit that might have been gained by an organization in an atmosphere of healthy competition is lost.
Here is a simple four-step process that can be used to expose and eliminate problems, and return a dysfunctional team to a healthy stasis.
‘Rational Detachment’
Thursday, April 29th, 2010
Here’s a good article on handling verbal conflicts using ‘rational detachment’. You know my perspective on handling verbal conflicts-empathy, observation, and recognizing that the ‘other’ person has a different perspective on a situation. And you know I recommend asking QUESTIONS before defending yourself. In this article you can pick up a few more tips on detaching from conflict. It’s worth a click: Prevention Prospectives.
Resumes, Cover Letters & Interviews, Oh My: Traveling the Yellow Brick Road to Employment
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
This week I posted a researcher/admin job on Craig’s List. Within 90 minutes I had 75 resumes.
Click Here to read my list of tips that came to mind when reviewing responses to my listing.
What Are You Upset About? Values-Driven Organizations
Friday, March 5th, 2010
This issue came up during a confidence coaching session. Several employees went to their supervisor to report a problem with another employee (Jim). It seems he had been rude to a client (as reported by the client) AND he forgot to do a very important piece of his job – so important that the consequences could be lethal. Fortunately the only consequence in this case is Jim’s on the hot seat. Exactly what upset the employees?
