From my perspective, and maybe this is heresy, but negotiations are lose/lose propositions. You’re both giving things up. If you’re lucky, you’ll give up what is least important to you and hold on to what’s most important. And that brings us to point two of this report: Know what your CounterPoint wants! This is great advice, however, when you’re dealing with a bully, you cannot predict what the bully wants. You can assume he/she wants power, control, to win, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the bully’s aggression comes from fear of the unknown, fear of failure, frustration from poor communication skills, or the habit of making all priorities have the same weight so everything is urgent or important and therefore, the bully cannot determine where to give and where to hold firm. If the bully doesn’t know, you can’t predict. You can make some assumptions but you could easily miss the mark. 

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Transforming a Dysfunctional Collection of Individuals Into a Functional Team
Any executive coach who addresses the issue of dysfunctional teams and workplace bullying will agree that competition is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, healthy competition is a great motivator; on the other hand it can digress into unhealthy and unproductive conflict. And, when conflict escalates as a result of abrasive intimidating or even bullying behavior, or stonewalling and gossip/back-stabbing, then any benefit that might have been gained by competition is lost.

However, many managers are loath to confront negative behavior for fear of creating more problems and delaying projects. This conflict avoidance is common but unhelpful. Soon the conflict is overriding productivity and failure is inevitable.

Here is a solution that indirectly addresses the conflict by putting the emphasis on the structure of the team by clarifying goals and holding everyone accountable.

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Here’s a good article on handling verbal conflicts using ‘rational detachment’. You know my perspective on handling verbal conflicts-empathy, observation, and recognizing that the ‘other’ person has a different perspective on a situation. And you know I recommend asking QUESTIONS before defending yourself. In this article you can pick up a few more tips on detaching from conflict. It’s worth a click: Prevention Prospectives.

This week I posted a researcher/admin job on Craig’s List. Within 90 minutes I had 75 resumes.

Click Here to read my list of tips that came to mind when reviewing responses to my listing.

This issue came up during a confidence coaching session. Several employees went to their supervisor to report a problem with another employee (Jim). It seems he had been rude to a client (as reported by the client) AND he forgot to do a very important piece of his job – so important that the consequences could be lethal. Fortunately the only consequence in this case is Jim’s on the hot seat. Exactly what upset the employees?

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Ask yourself:

Do I Have a Trusted Advisor?

Do I take Advise from that Person?

One of the most important Truths I picked up in my years learning to be an executive coach came from an extremely successful coach with a multi-million dollar coaching practice filled with some of the most successful CEO’s and business leaders in the world.

Profoundly successful business leaders TAKE ADVICE from trusted advisors and implement that advice. They do not question the advice. They seek clarification and then they implement. After all, they hired that professional to advise them, to improve their performance, to guide them to greater success. The results are always greater satisfaction, success, and fulfillment; they have more time with their families, more money to spend, and more joy in their lives. 

However, mid-level successful business leaders QUESTION ADVICE they garner from their trusted advisor. They challenge the wisdom of the wise person they have hired. They argue about the wisdom and they come up with reasons why the advice is wrong, why it won’t work in their case, and why they cannot do it.

What does that mean? The most successful people understand what they do not know and rely on experts to help them. The less successful people are unsure of themselves and DO NOT understand what they don’t know. They have to be in control and they have to be right. They think they know better than the expert. The results are their progress is slower, they don’t achieve their goals, and they work harder.

The Lesson: When you spend your time trying to re-invent the wheel, do it your own way, believe you always know best, you are impeding your own progress toward success. If you find yourself objecting to this thesis, then look at your own success and see if you’re objecting because I’ve touched a sore spot!

Next Steps: When it comes to your business, or, for that matter, your life, your dreams, your goals, even your problems, who do you trust to advise you? Do you take that advise? What can you do right now to improve your chances for success? How can your advisor help you take your business and life to the next level?  Contact me today!

Are you using social networks to find employment?
If not, you’re missing an important tool. One of my clients was found through LinkedIn when his profile matched an employer’s needs. the employer sought him out and the match was perfect.

Here are some important ways to use social networks to build your confidence connections:

• your photo
• a strong and accurate bio/resume/description of you and your background
• having others post recommendations on your LinkedIn page
• joining groups with people who would be of assistance to you
• participating in group discussions so you become known and can demonstrate your expertise
• establish connections to ‘connectors’ (those extroverts who get around and seem to know everyone)
• add connections to those in your industry
• don’t forget connections to friends and family who will learn more about you and what you do from that bio you wrote
• sharing your connections with others

For more info on social networking and other job search tips, click on the title of this article and read a recent newspaper article on this subject.