From my perspective, and maybe this is heresy, but negotiations are lose/lose propositions. You’re both giving things up. If you’re lucky, you’ll give up what is least important to you and hold on to what’s most important. And that brings us to point two of this report: Know what your CounterPoint wants! This is great advice, however, when you’re dealing with a bully, you cannot predict what the bully wants. You can assume he/she wants power, control, to win, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the bully’s aggression comes from fear of the unknown, fear of failure, frustration from poor communication skills, or the habit of making all priorities have the same weight so everything is urgent or important and therefore, the bully cannot determine where to give and where to hold firm. If the bully doesn’t know, you can’t predict. You can make some assumptions but you could easily miss the mark.
Archive for the ‘confidence’ Category
New Building Confidence e-Course!
Tuesday, May 11th, 2010Join me for my free e-course, Building Confidence! During this 3 day e-course you will receive useful
tips to build your confidence as well as encouragement to implement the strategies you will learn.
You will receive Confidence Tips for:
The Shy and Retiring
Handling Difficult People
Increasing Productivity and Fullfillment
What Are You Upset About? Values-Driven Organizations
Friday, March 5th, 2010
This issue came up during a confidence coaching session. Several employees went to their supervisor to report a problem with another employee (Jim). It seems he had been rude to a client (as reported by the client) AND he forgot to do a very important piece of his job – so important that the consequences could be lethal. Fortunately the only consequence in this case is Jim’s on the hot seat. Exactly what upset the employees?
Here is a Method to Help You Analyze How YOU Help or Hurt your Success
Thursday, March 4th, 2010Ask yourself:
Do I Have a Trusted Advisor?
Do I take Advise from that Person?
One of the most important Truths I picked up in my years learning to be an executive coach came from an extremely successful coach with a multi-million dollar coaching practice filled with some of the most successful CEO’s and business leaders in the world.
Profoundly successful business leaders TAKE ADVICE from trusted advisors and implement that advice. They do not question the advice. They seek clarification and then they implement. After all, they hired that professional to advise them, to improve their performance, to guide them to greater success. The results are always greater satisfaction, success, and fulfillment; they have more time with their families, more money to spend, and more joy in their lives.
However, mid-level successful business leaders QUESTION ADVICE they garner from their trusted advisor. They challenge the wisdom of the wise person they have hired. They argue about the wisdom and they come up with reasons why the advice is wrong, why it won’t work in their case, and why they cannot do it.
What does that mean? The most successful people understand what they do not know and rely on experts to help them. The less successful people are unsure of themselves and DO NOT understand what they don’t know. They have to be in control and they have to be right. They think they know better than the expert. The results are their progress is slower, they don’t achieve their goals, and they work harder.
The Lesson: When you spend your time trying to re-invent the wheel, do it your own way, believe you always know best, you are impeding your own progress toward success. If you find yourself objecting to this thesis, then look at your own success and see if you’re objecting because I’ve touched a sore spot!
Next Steps: When it comes to your business, or, for that matter, your life, your dreams, your goals, even your problems, who do you trust to advise you? Do you take that advise? What can you do right now to improve your chances for success? How can your advisor help you take your business and life to the next level? Contact me today!
Be Prepared: What do you say to a Workplace Bully or Harasser?
Thursday, February 18th, 2010
Are you prepared to face, confront, and repel a bully or harasser? If you are like most of us, you’re not! Why? Who wants to think they have to prepare for a bully? We have a social contract with the world. That is ‘I treat you with respect, you respond in kind’. But, many people don’t respond to our plan for a healthy workplace. Many people have an agenda different from our own – an agenda to harm, intimidate, or control. Sometimes simply an agenda based on fear of the unknown and a bit of paranoia, and poor leadership and communication skills.
Handling confrontations and attacks that come from bullying and fear and incompetence requires PREPARATION!
