Here’s a quip from the article that I do favor-waiting out the storm: If you are being shouted at by your boss my advice is to wait until the storm has passed, repeat your concerns back to him/her and be specific about how to fix things. Distill the issues discussed in the outbreak. Your boss will expect you to be defensive or to break down, but instead make sure you communicate that you’re a supportive employee and you’re on his/her team.

Click Here to read my list of tips that came to mind when reviewing responses to my listing.

Read the rest of the article…

If bullying is defined broadly, targets fail to see a serious situation as bullying and fail to act early on their own behalf. 

If bullying definitions are too generic, there is a dearth of public support for targets. 

If bullying is not a big deal then unhelpful suggestions like: ‘managing up’, and deep breathing, or, (once I saw this) ‘lavender oil’, seems to be reasonable solutions.  

If bullying is just good leadership/power/get the job done behavior, then people have license to bully because it makes them good leaders (witness the recent comments on Great Britain Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s defenders noting he should be a bully because that’s what leaders need to do). 

If bullying is just ‘I lost my temper’, then we cannot create guidelines for what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior. We need clarity. 

Bullying is life damaging, career destroying, and confidence killing behavior. Bullying is persistent, pervasive, and gut wrenching. It might be as wide-spread as 30% of the working population. It impacts both men and women; is perpetrated by both men and women and is not confined to certain workplaces or pay grades or educational status. It is everywhere. I know. I’ve been bullied.  I know, as an executive coach focusing on bullying and conflict issues, because my practice is replete with bully targets and bullies. I know because I have read over 10 years of research documenting, clarifying, and explaining the incidence and prevalence of bullying. Visit the Workplace Bully Institute http://www.workplacebullyinginstitute.com for a nice collection of research on this topic. The more you know, the more power you have. 

In the interests of separating simply bad behavior from bullying, I’ve labeled and defined seven unambiguous signs bullying behaviors.  

Read the full article

Do I Have a Trusted Advisor?

Do I take Advise from that Person?

One of the most important Truths I picked up in my years learning to be an executive coach came from an extremely successful coach with a multi-million dollar coaching practice filled with some of the most successful CEO’s and business leaders in the world.

Profoundly successful business leaders TAKE ADVICE from trusted advisors and implement that advice. They do not question the advice. They seek clarification and then they implement. After all, they hired that professional to advise them, to improve their performance, to guide them to greater success. The results are always greater satisfaction, success, and fulfillment; they have more time with their families, more money to spend, and more joy in their lives. 

However, mid-level successful business leaders QUESTION ADVICE they garner from their trusted advisor. They challenge the wisdom of the wise person they have hired. They argue about the wisdom and they come up with reasons why the advice is wrong, why it won’t work in their case, and why they cannot do it.

What does that mean? The most successful people understand what they do not know and rely on experts to help them. The less successful people are unsure of themselves and DO NOT understand what they don’t know. They have to be in control and they have to be right. They think they know better than the expert. The results are their progress is slower, they don’t achieve their goals, and they work harder.

The Lesson: When you spend your time trying to re-invent the wheel, do it your own way, believe you always know best, you are impeding your own progress toward success. If you find yourself objecting to this thesis, then look at your own success and see if you’re objecting because I’ve touched a sore spot!

Next Steps: When it comes to your business, or, for that matter, your life, your dreams, your goals, even your problems, who do you trust to advise you? Do you take that advise? What can you do right now to improve your chances for success? How can your advisor help you take your business and life to the next level?  Contact me today!

In the end, individual education, training, and tools for responding to bullying will make the difference for the millions who suffer the humiliation of bullying.

Handling confrontations and attacks that come from bullying and fear and incompetence requires PREPARATION! 

Read more…..

But with more homicides happening in the workplace than ever before, what we know is some of these are domestic problems brought into work. Battered women and men are harassed, stalked, and intimidated while at work. The question is, what will and can employers do to help.

Here’s a thoughtful and accurate piece on this problem and one solution: “The first step is to make all employees aware that there is support for the victim of assault, even when the assault occurs at home, at your business, that there will be trained staff that know what to look for in situations that include domestic assault. A well thought out, well announced safety plan, is put in place by co-workers for the office place and in support of the victim of domestic assault.”   Read more here.

The Violence Volcano

The Violence Volcano:
Reducing the Threat of Workplace Violence
by David D. Van Fleet and Ella W. Van Fleet

From Amazon.com: “The Violence Volcano” is for managers and workers in all types of business and government organizations, including law enforcement and other first-responders. Its purpose is to assist all organizations and their employees in fulfilling their obligations under U.S. Government regulations to reduce the risks of any and all forms of violence that affect workers during the time they are carrying out their duties as employees.

“The Violence Volcano” is written at an appropriate level for either self-study, training programs, or classroom settings. It could be used as a supplement in business, educational administration, criminal justice and law enforcement classes, or other academic and trade programs. It uses the volcano metaphor to provide a simple and unique way to help readers under stand and remember how violence builds.

It provides a broader approach than other books toward recognizing and dealing with the issue of workplace violence, including both internal and external causes as well as signs of impending acts of violence. It identifies and discusses the nature and complexity of violence in a variety of workplaces.

It helps: management compare violence prevention costs with the immediate and direct costs plus the delayed and hidden costs of violent incidents at work; management, employees, and law enforcement personnel recognize environmental and organizational influences on employee behavior; and, management and employees develop an awareness of personal characteristics and work behaviors that build toward violent behavior, so that timely intervention can perhaps eliminate the threat of violence.

It assists management in establishing a crisis management team, an organizational crisis plan, a violence intervention plan, and a post-violence trauma plan. It develops a comprehensive definition of workplace violence and examines its rapid growth. It suggests administrative ways of reducing risks, such as establishing anti-violence policies, improving asset security, and providing an adequate support system. It introduces the topics of legal responsibilities and liabilities, and working with law enforcement.

Get it here.