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Posts Tagged ‘bully’

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When Bullying Turns Violent

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

Stalking, rape, assault, ‘going postal’ and any threats of violence are serious and must be treated as such.

Threat assessment and management are beyond the scope of Confidence Connections.

Most companies have a threat management policy in place. If you feel threatened or have been threatened, take immediate action.

Contact everyone and anyone who can help you.

Do not spend time on this website, do not pass go, do not hesitate, do not think that a threat of violence isn’t serious, because it is.

Do NOT apply a Threat Assessment Model to your situation and draw your own conclusions. Threats require professional evaluations. You are NOT a professional threat assessor, neither is your coach, or therapist, or doctor. Trust me! Get help and protection.

A National Resource to help you:

ATAP: Association of Threat Assessment Professionals

The Association of Threat Assessment Professionals (ATAP) was founded in 1992 as a non-profit organization comprised of law enforcement, prosecutors, mental health professionals, corporate security experts, probation and parole personnel and others involved in the area of threat and violence risk assessment. The purpose of ATAP is to afford its members a professional and educational environment to exchange ideas and strategies to address such issues as stalking, threats, and homeland security. The primary focus of this organization is to provide the necessary knowledge, tools, and support to better prepare our membership to handle these types of situations. Our commitment is to expertly address these issues through seminars and training and networking with other professionals working in this field.

Great Articles on Threats and Threat Assessment: Click Here

20th Annual Threat Management Conference: Click Here

There are other resources, find them!!!!

Think:

Police

Restraining Orders

Shelters

Workplace Security Officers

Tags: anti-bullying legislative, bully, bully boss, bullying, workplace bullying
Posted in Abrasive Manager, bullying | No Comments »

Info & Insights from the Workplace Bullying Institute

Monday, June 14th, 2010

I agree with the Workplace Bullying Institute that mediation is not a tool that works well, if at all, in bullying type of problems. Why? Because there is either an implicit or explicit power differential. That is either the aggressor is using emotional abuse or structural power to overtake the target. Those conditions don’t disappear when a mediator arrives. Mediation implies that both parties are wrong and there is something to settle between the two parties. But workplace aggression isn’t about misunderstandings or mutual blame or settling a financial dispute. Workplace aggression is a complex combination of psychological factors, structural conditions, and power differences. A good executive coach who is skilled at handling aggression among people can sort through the circumstances and offer solutions. Be sure the coach is sophisticated enough to make referrals for psychological counseling, where needed, is able to uncover the structural problems (corporate culture and mores, quality of supervision, degree of accountability on both performance and behavior, team functionality, etc.) and then propose strategies to fix them.

Workplace aggression is more than a simple mis-understanding, and more complicated than a simple power differential.

Here’s more info and insights into workplace conflict, aggression and bullying and whether or not mediation helps: Workplace Bullying Institute

Tags: bullie, bully, bully boss, bullying, executive coaching, mediation, workplace bullying, workplace bullying institute, workplace policies
Posted in bullying | No Comments »

Article from the Chronicle of Higher Education

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Here’s an interesting article from the Chronicle of Higher Education on bullying in academia.

Researchers are proposing mediation for bullying situations even though the research shows overwhelmingly that mediation doesn’t work. That’s been my experience too. What does work are strong and enforced rules prohibiting bullying, great coaching for bullies and their managers, improved supervision and insights to the plethora of causes of bullying and abrasive behaviors.

Read the article, and the comments for different perspectives on bullying issues:

Workplace Mediators Seek a Role in Taming Faculty Bullies

Tags: bullie, bully, bullying, bullying in academia, workplace bullying, workplace politics
Posted in bullying | 2 Comments »

Negotiation Tips for Managers

Friday, May 28th, 2010

From my perspective, and maybe this is heresy, but negotiations are lose/lose propositions. You’re both giving things up. If you’re lucky, you’ll give up what is least important to you and hold on to what’s most important. And that brings us to point two of this report: Know what your CounterPoint wants! This is great advice, however, when you’re dealing with a bully, you cannot predict what the bully wants. You can assume he/she wants power, control, to win, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the bully’s aggression comes from fear of the unknown, fear of failure, frustration from poor communication skills, or the habit of making all priorities have the same weight so everything is urgent or important and therefore, the bully cannot determine where to give and where to hold firm. If the bully doesn’t know, you can’t predict. You can make some assumptions but you could easily miss the mark. 

Read More…

Tags: bully, bullying, confidence, confidence connections, corporate success, workplace bullying
Posted in bullying, career, confidence, professional | No Comments »

The Dirty Little Secret of the Workplace: The Bully Isn’t Wearing Any Clothes

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Fear of the witnessReading a list of standard bullying behavior can be a revelation for some people.  Far too often we become so accustomed to witnessing acts of incivility that we develop a blind eye to it.  This is especially true in the workplace.  Verbal insults, withholding of key information, and other blatant, aggressive and manipulative behaviors are sometimes considered standard practice, to the extent that, not only are they tolerated, but they are overlooked or dismissed entirely.  

But what do we do when our perceptions are telling us otherwise? You may recall the fairy tale about a Self-centered Emperor who cared only about his clothes.  Two con artists come along who promise to make him the finest suit of clothes woven from a fabric that is invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or “just hopelessly stupid”.  The Emperor buys into the idea, and even though he cannot see the cloth himself, he pretends that he can for fear of appearing unfit for his position or stupid; and his ministers do the same. When the suit is supposedly finished, the swindlers pretend to dress him and the Emperor then parades himself before his subjects. At first, everyone remains silent, but then a child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.  The entire crowd then bursts into an uproar as they all begin to claim their perceptions.

Read the rest of the article…

Tags: assertiveness training, bullie, bully, bully boss, bullying, confidence, confidence connections, Kathleen Schulweis, women bullies, workplace bullying, workplace policies, workplace politics
Posted in bullying | No Comments »

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