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Posts Tagged ‘women bullies’

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The Dirty Little Secret of the Workplace: The Bully Isn’t Wearing Any Clothes

Friday, May 7th, 2010

Fear of the witnessReading a list of standard bullying behavior can be a revelation for some people.  Far too often we become so accustomed to witnessing acts of incivility that we develop a blind eye to it.  This is especially true in the workplace.  Verbal insults, withholding of key information, and other blatant, aggressive and manipulative behaviors are sometimes considered standard practice, to the extent that, not only are they tolerated, but they are overlooked or dismissed entirely.  

But what do we do when our perceptions are telling us otherwise? You may recall the fairy tale about a Self-centered Emperor who cared only about his clothes.  Two con artists come along who promise to make him the finest suit of clothes woven from a fabric that is invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or “just hopelessly stupid”.  The Emperor buys into the idea, and even though he cannot see the cloth himself, he pretends that he can for fear of appearing unfit for his position or stupid; and his ministers do the same. When the suit is supposedly finished, the swindlers pretend to dress him and the Emperor then parades himself before his subjects. At first, everyone remains silent, but then a child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.  The entire crowd then bursts into an uproar as they all begin to claim their perceptions.

Read the rest of the article…

Tags: assertiveness training, bullie, bully, bully boss, bullying, confidence, confidence connections, Kathleen Schulweis, women bullies, workplace bullying, workplace policies, workplace politics
Posted in bullying | No Comments »

Are you Thinking too Much about your Bully Situation? 10 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself during Trying Times

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

iStock_000004417753XSmall paper people 1 surroundedBeing the target of bullying behaviors is stressful, frustrating, and sickening. As anxiety goes up, health, sleep and life satisfaction goes down. You start obsessing on the situation, the bully, how to bring others to your aid, what to do next, how to escape. Before you know it, you slip and lose control of your life. Everything becomes dark and bleak and seemingly hopeless. Sound familiar! If so, then you know something has to change. 

So, while you are trying to manage, and ultimately escape from a bullying situation, it is critical to Take Care of Yourself. Here are a few tips on getting bullying off your mind and adding fulfillment to your life. 

Make Plans With Friends. Have you forgotten how much better you can feel after a night out with friends? That’s typical for anyone suffering with bullying. Your world shrinks and you just want to hide. Resistance the urge to stay home and make plans for this coming weekend.

Read the rest of this article….

Tags: bullie, bully, bully boss, bullying, coping with bullying, Kathleen Schulweis, kschulweis, women bullies, workplace bullying
Posted in bullying | No Comments »

Not All Bullies Are Bosses!

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

iStock_000005117945XSmall-BullyPointingBullied by an Advisor 

Bosses are not the only bullies out there. Sometimes a counselor, advisor, or someone else in authority behaves like a bully. When this happens the best response is to Get A Second Opinion.

In one matter I heard about recently, a financial advisor made specific and rigid recommendations to a new client. When the client balked the advisor came down hard with judgmental language ‘I know best’, ‘My investment strategies are spot-on’, ‘You hired me. Now take my advise.’ Not only was the person intimidated and confused by the planner, it was clear to her friends that he was making recommendations that would line his own pockets with extra profits.

Our suggestion: get another opinion.

Her response-she did what the advisor recommended and lost.

Legalities aside, this is a bullying situation. Someone wants to ‘win’ and they can’t stand to be doubted. Watch out for such behavior and recognize it for what it is – bullying.

Tags: bullie, bully, bullying, Kathleen Schulweis, women bullies, workplace bullying
Posted in bullying | 1 Comment »

Workplace Bullies: Should You Ignore the Behavior?

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

tigerOftentimes suggestions on how to handle bullying include something like this: 

Ignore the bully.  Bullies are looking for a reaction and lose interest if they aren’t given the satisfaction of getting one. 

But this advice is ill advised. It feels intuitively right, which is why we see it suggested, but it is not grounded in wisdom, experience or research.  

Many years ago I was working on a research project to assess the incidence and prevalence of sexual harassment. I had the opportunity to ask some open-ended questions about harassment including asking women who reported being harassed:   How did you respond to the harassment? 

 Read the results…..

Tags: assertiveness training, bullie, bully, bullying, women bullies, workplace bullying
Posted in blog, bullying | 1 Comment »

Stand Up! How to Respond to Bullying, Aggressive Behavior & Unpleasant Situations

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

standup

There are quite a few suggestions for handling difficult situations including breathing, counting to 10, lavender oil, and meditation. Okay, fine but really not so fine. Difficult situations require a Response to the Problem Plan with two stages: Focus, and Action.

Here are guidelines for each stage.  Read more….

Tags: assertiveness training, bullie, bully, bullying, women bullies, workplace bullying, workplace policies, workplace politics
Posted in blog, bullying | 2 Comments »

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