Stalking, rape, assault, ‘going postal’ and any threats of violence are serious and must be treated as such.

Threat assessment and management are beyond the scope of Confidence Connections.

Most companies have a threat management policy in place. If you feel threatened or have been threatened, take immediate action.

Contact everyone and anyone who can help you.

Do not spend time on this website, do not pass go, do not hesitate, do not think that a threat of violence isn’t serious, because it is.

Do NOT apply a Threat Assessment Model to your situation and draw your own conclusions. Threats require professional evaluations. You are NOT a professional threat assessor, neither is your coach, or therapist, or doctor. Trust me! Get help and protection.

A National Resource to help you:

ATAP: Association of Threat Assessment Professionals

The Association of Threat Assessment Professionals (ATAP) was founded in 1992 as a non-profit organization comprised of law enforcement, prosecutors, mental health professionals, corporate security experts, probation and parole personnel and others involved in the area of threat and violence risk assessment. The purpose of ATAP is to afford its members a professional and educational environment to exchange ideas and strategies to address such issues as stalking, threats, and homeland security. The primary focus of this organization is to provide the necessary knowledge, tools, and support to better prepare our membership to handle these types of situations. Our commitment is to expertly address these issues through seminars and training and networking with other professionals working in this field.

Great Articles on Threats and Threat Assessment: Click Here

20^th Annual Threat Management Conference: Click Here

There are other resources, find them!!!!

Think:

Police

Restraining Orders

Shelters

Workplace Security Officers

If you are building a work team – think about this:

‘Work groups that have too many star employees can curtail a company’s effectiveness. Managers should curb their desire to hire numerous high-status employees; in so doing, they will help ensure greater collaboration and fewer ego-driven conflicts among team members.’  This is according to

Too Many Cooks Spoil the Broth: How High Status Individuals Decrease Group Effectiveness (read the full article here)
Authors: Boris Groysberg, Jeffrey T. Polzer, and Hillary Anger Elfenbein
Publication:  Organization Science (forthcoming)

I wonder how this will impact the HEAT basketball team which is replete with high-status, extremely well paid, mavericks.

It is clearly in evidence when looking at escalating bullying type behaviors. The more threatened leaders feel the more abrasive and aggressive they become-competition is in the blood and in the brain. How do you calm down your ’super-stars’?

I agree with the Workplace Bullying Institute that mediation is not a tool that works well, if at all, in bullying type of problems. Why? Because there is either an implicit or explicit power differential. That is either the aggressor is using emotional abuse or structural power to overtake the target. Those conditions don’t disappear when a mediator arrives. Mediation implies that both parties are wrong and there is something to settle between the two parties. But workplace aggression isn’t about misunderstandings or mutual blame or settling a financial dispute. Workplace aggression is a complex combination of psychological factors, structural conditions, and power differences. A good executive coach who is skilled at handling aggression among people can sort through the circumstances and offer solutions. Be sure the coach is sophisticated enough to make referrals for psychological counseling, where needed, is able to uncover the structural problems (corporate culture and mores, quality of supervision, degree of accountability on both performance and behavior, team functionality, etc.) and then propose strategies to fix them.

Workplace aggression is more than a simple mis-understanding, and more complicated than a simple power differential.

Here’s more info and insights into workplace conflict, aggression and bullying and whether or not mediation helps: Workplace Bullying Institute

Here’s an interesting article from the Chronicle of Higher Education on bullying in academia.

Researchers are proposing mediation for bullying situations even though the research shows overwhelmingly that mediation doesn’t work. That’s been my experience too. What does work are strong and enforced rules prohibiting bullying, great coaching for bullies and their managers, improved supervision and insights to the plethora of causes of bullying and abrasive behaviors.

Read the article, and the comments for different perspectives on bullying issues:

Workplace Mediators Seek a Role in Taming Faculty Bullies

From my perspective, and maybe this is heresy, but negotiations are lose/lose propositions. You’re both giving things up. If you’re lucky, you’ll give up what is least important to you and hold on to what’s most important. And that brings us to point two of this report: Know what your CounterPoint wants! This is great advice, however, when you’re dealing with a bully, you cannot predict what the bully wants. You can assume he/she wants power, control, to win, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes the bully’s aggression comes from fear of the unknown, fear of failure, frustration from poor communication skills, or the habit of making all priorities have the same weight so everything is urgent or important and therefore, the bully cannot determine where to give and where to hold firm. If the bully doesn’t know, you can’t predict. You can make some assumptions but you could easily miss the mark. 

Read More…

Reading a list of standard bullying behavior can be a revelation for some people.  Far too often we become so accustomed to witnessing acts of incivility that we develop a blind eye to it.  This is especially true in the workplace.  Verbal insults, withholding of key information, and other blatant, aggressive and manipulative behaviors are sometimes considered standard practice, to the extent that, not only are they tolerated, but they are overlooked or dismissed entirely.  

But what do we do when our perceptions are telling us otherwise? You may recall the fairy tale about a Self-centered Emperor who cared only about his clothes.  Two con artists come along who promise to make him the finest suit of clothes woven from a fabric that is invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or “just hopelessly stupid”.  The Emperor buys into the idea, and even though he cannot see the cloth himself, he pretends that he can for fear of appearing unfit for his position or stupid; and his ministers do the same. When the suit is supposedly finished, the swindlers pretend to dress him and the Emperor then parades himself before his subjects. At first, everyone remains silent, but then a child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.  The entire crowd then bursts into an uproar as they all begin to claim their perceptions.

Read the rest of the article…

Here’s an interesting blog on dealing with bullying behavior. What do you think about ‘killing with kindness’ as a strategy? I’ve found it works sometimes-particularly in a newer relationship with someone who is fearful and defensive. But with someone who uses bully tactics for specific ends (profit, power, getting the sale), then it doesn’t help. You can’t exactly invite your competitor to stop competing! Well you can, but to what end?

Enjoy this one: http://scirecruitment.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/kill-a-workplace-bully-with-kindness/

Here’s a good article on handling verbal conflicts using ‘rational detachment’. You know my perspective on handling verbal conflicts-empathy, observation, and recognizing that the ‘other’ person has a different perspective on a situation. And you know I recommend asking QUESTIONS before defending yourself. In this article you can pick up a few more tips on detaching from conflict. It’s worth a click: Prevention Prospectives.

Being the target of bullying behaviors is stressful, frustrating, and sickening. As anxiety goes up, health, sleep and life satisfaction goes down. You start obsessing on the situation, the bully, how to bring others to your aid, what to do next, how to escape. Before you know it, you slip and lose control of your life. Everything becomes dark and bleak and seemingly hopeless. Sound familiar! If so, then you know something has to change. 

So, while you are trying to manage, and ultimately escape from a bullying situation, it is critical to Take Care of Yourself. Here are a few tips on getting bullying off your mind and adding fulfillment to your life. 

Make Plans With Friends. Have you forgotten how much better you can feel after a night out with friends? That’s typical for anyone suffering with bullying. Your world shrinks and you just want to hide. Resistance the urge to stay home and make plans for this coming weekend.

Read the rest of this article….

Every day I read horror stories about bully bosses who fire their victims. Apparently it isn’t enough to bully them, sometimes they have to get the target out of the office before they’re satisfied. If this has happened to you then here are 9 help-yourself ideas: 

1. Be kind to yourself. Workplace bullying is a terrible situation that no one should have to suffer.

Read the rest of the article…